


Cooking

by impalaloompa



Series: Spideypool Tumblr Prompts [1]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Peter is a bad cook
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-08
Updated: 2016-03-08
Packaged: 2018-05-25 13:36:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6197056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/impalaloompa/pseuds/impalaloompa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Peter cooks for Wade and terribly fails. Wade is amused - xnyappyallyx</p>
    </blockquote>





	Cooking

**Author's Note:**

> Peter cooks for Wade and terribly fails. Wade is amused - xnyappyallyx

Peter was excited. Nervous, but excited. He had never cooked for Wade before. Usually it was Wade who whipped out his culinary skills and magicked up a simple yet delicious meal with practically nothing and blew Peter away each time.  
Peter had always been jealous of Wade in the kitchen. His boyfriend made it seem so easy. Peter had been banned from his Aunt's kitchen for years. All you need to know is that there was an incident involving a whisk, brownie mix, a microwave and a fire.  
Wade never stopped Peter from cooking, Peter just chose not to, for everyone's sake.  
But today Wade was going to be home late (he was on a mission for SHIELD) and Peter thought he'd surprise him by cooking their dinner.  
Things so far, we're going well.  
He had a cook book propped up against the toaster so he had an optimistic outlook on the result of his efforts.  
The stew was simmering nicely on the hob, the carrots bubbling away beside it, the potatoes in a pot just behind that.  
Simple. What could go wrong?  
He cast a quick glance at the recipe book again. Drain the potatoes. He could do that.  
He lifted the pan off the hob, angled the lid and slowly tipped the water into the sink, careful to avoid receiving a steam burn.  
"Ok," he sighed through his nose, "What next?"  
He referred to the book again.  
"Put the potatoes through the ricer...ricer? What the fuck is a ricer? Do we even have a ricer?" Peter abandoned the potatoes and threw open the nearest cupboards.  
"Don't know what I'm looking for!" he half wailed.  
Peter grabbed at his phone beside the cook book and googled 'ricer.'  
"Oh. Okay, yeah I've seen that before," he took a second to think before diving into the cupboard above the sink.  
"Ha, gotcha," he smirked, taking out the metallic object.  
"Now... How does this work?" in the split second he paused to work the ricer out, there came a hideous spitting noise form the stove.  
"What the-?" Peter spun on the spot, "oh no oh no, oh shit oh shit."  
The stew was bubbling up and over the sides of the pot. Thick brown sauce oozed down the sides of the pot and started burning in a gloopy mess on the burner.  
"Stopstopstop!" Peter screamed. He launched himself at the hob, about to haul the stew pot off, remembered that his skin wasn't fire proof, snatched a tea towel from the counter, then removed the pot.  
He dared to look at the stew and groaned in despair. It had burned to the sides of the pot, lumpy and thick stew swirling in the bottom.  
He was about to dip a spoon in to test the damage at the bottom of the pot when the lid on the carrots started rattling.  
"Gimme a sec!" he yelled at the carrots, "for fuck sake."

Wade took the stairs up to their apartment two at a time. He was tired, but also hungry. The cryptic text he had received from Peter had piqued his interest. Peter never cooked. This was going to be a nice change.  
He opened the apartment door, ready to discard his Katanas and guns when he froze to the spot, white lensed eyes fixed on the scene in the kitchen.  
Peter was slouched against the furthest counter, hair sticking out at odd angles, face flushed a rosey pink. A pan of cold looking potatoes sat in the sink, there was some sort of brown liquid burning onto the hob and splattering most of the counter, a pan of something still sat on the hob and whatever it was supposed to be was now an orange mush floating in water. There were utensils strewn everywhere, a cook book on the floor and the ricer was threatening to fall into the sink.  
"Uh..." he rubbed the back of his spandex covered neck.  
"Wade?" Peter lifted his eyes to give him a gloomy pout.  
"What, uh, what happened?" Wade asked incredulously, taking a hesitant step forwards.  
"I was making stew," Peter huffed miserably.  
"Stew?" Wade almost spluttered, "really?"  
Peter looked so stressed and down and beaten, Wade was struggling to keep a straight face.  
"It's going well I see," he tried.  
"Dammit Wade, it's not funny!" Peter scowled.  
"No, no of course not," Wade had to bite his lip to stop the laughter, "not at all."  
"I was trying to make a nice dinner for you cause you always cook for me and I wanted to cook for you and I wanted you to like it," Peter wailed.  
"I appreciate the thought but Peter... I don't think the hob can take much more," Wade broke, loud booming laughter shook him and he had to clasp a hand to his masked mouth to stifle the noise.  
Peter grumbled at him, casting a scathing look at the stove.  
Wade was leaning against the wall for support, sucking in huge gulping breaths. He couldn't look at Peter, afraid he'd start laughing again.  
"I'm sorry Wade," Peter hung his head.  
"Oh, Baby Boy," Wade's warm smile was visible through his mask, "you don't have to be sorry. You tried. I love that you tried."  
"It's ruined," Peter moped.  
"Yes. Probably," Wade slid round the counter into the kitchen and snaked his arms around Peter's waist. He pressed his forehead to Peter's, trying to comfort him a little.  
"But hey, now we can order Pizza," Wade grinned.  
Peter gave a weak laugh and pressed himself against his boyfriend, face buried in Wade's shoulder.  
"And," Wade said, "Considering that all...this," he gestured to the messy kitchen, "was meant for me, you can buy if I help clean up."  
Peter took a moment, as if contemplating Wade's proposal before mumbling "Fine."  
Wade gave him a quick squeeze before pulling away and getting to work.  
"Jesus Peter," he complained, "you really did make a mess didn't you! I mean, I feeling the love and all but the kitchen didn't have to suffer so."  
Peter pushed him so he stumbled slightly, "ass," he grumbled, a slight grin tugging at his lips.  
Wade returned the nudge and the two men ended up on the floor, a mess of tangled limbs as they wrestled for the best positions.  
"Seriously though," Wade panted, chest heaving as he lay on his back, "Thank you."  
Peter lay on top of him and smiled into his firm chest. He just wanted to stay like that but the smell from the burnt food forced him to get up.  
He hauled Wade to his feet and looked around.  
So he wasn't the best cook. That meant there was room for improvement and he flashed a sly grin at his boyfriend.  
Prepare yourself Wade, he thought to himself, cause as far as disastrous meals go? This was the first of many.


End file.
